War for Hirestel - The Brisket

PRESENT

A Leadbelcher brute swings his cannon wildly, taking out 5 Moonclan Grots in the process by sending them flying out of view! A Grot Shaman does a funny dance and points his staff at a Tyrant, turning him instantly into a goat! A trio of Ogors push over a Moonclan hut with very little effort, sending little Grots scurrying for safety. A group of Grots have piled on an Irongut, clawing his flesh and cackling with glee.

Yes, it's just another day in Ghur and the armies of Destruction aren't getting along.

A wild brawl between a village full of Moonclan Grots and a roving band of Gutbusters has erupted after - allegedly - the Moonclan wouldn't share the wisdom of their new leader Snazzgar Stinkmuller with the Ogors. The wisdom they were seeking? The recipe for Yhettee brisket. Such a recipe doesn't exist, but these sorts of lies and gossip have torn the armies of Ogors, Orruks, and Grots apart lately. It's all very silly.

An Ogor gets launched by a gleeful Mangler Squig over a group of trees bordering the village, but the great Shaman Snazzgar doesn't pay attention. He walks calmly through the carnage, shaking his head.

"OH GEEZ..."

A Butcher tries to guard his cauldron from curious Squigs. A half dozen fanatics swing their weapons maniacally into a group of armored Ogors and send themselves spinning into their allies.

"GIT IT TOGETHER, GANG."

Gutbuster-allied Grots are arm wrestling with Moonclan Grots on picnic tables, and no one is messing with them. The stakes couldn't be lower as neither side can pin the spindly arms of the others.

"POINTLESS FIGHTS. PLEASE STOP!!!"

Leadbelchers fruitlessly fire into a Colossal Squig, who subsequently squashes them. A pair of Squig Herders are pummeled by an albino Ogor.

"YHETEE BRIIIISKKKEEEEETTTTTT!"

*record scratch*

"AHEM."

Snazzgar pets his own head, a giant death's head mushroom, and is pleased with his ruse. A goat bucking in panic is the only one causing a bother.

"YOU CAME FOR BRISKET. OKAY, OKAY. WELL I KNOW A PLACE OPENING SOON THAT SERVES THE BEST OF THE BRISKETS! AND ALL SORTS, OKAY? OKAY, SO WE ALL WANT BRISKET. WE FIGHT TOGETHER AND WE GET ALL THE BRISKET. YEAH?"

Everyone is on board, nodding and chittering.

"NEW REALM IS ABOUT TO OPEN, AND JUST DOWN THE ROAD. EVERYONE FOLLOWS ME, AND BRISKET WILL RAIN INTO YOUR MOUTHS!"

And just like that, everyone is pleased! Ogors cheer, Moonclan Grots dance, and a goat bleats. A Grot Shaman bops a goat on the head, and it turns back into a Tyrant. The Tyrant opens his mouth wide and swallows the Shaman in one big gulp.

"TO HIRESTEL, ARMIES OF DESTRUCTION!"

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 SPECIAL RULES 

The next special character that players can bring belongs to Destruction!

The Great Snazzgar Stinkmullet has united Ogors and Grot alike! If you take a Fungoid Cave-Shaman and would like to use him as Snazzgar instead, you can spend an extra 40 pts. on him and enjoy the following additional rules:

Snazzgar has 2 extra Wounds and the ability THE PROMISE OF BRISKET: Snazzgar may use the Fungoid Cave-Shaman Command Ability even if he isn't the general, and may use his Ability even if a Command Ability has been used this turn. 

I think this will make it easier to unite Ogors and Grots in the War for Hirestel!